Thursday, March 3, 2011

Who really reads the KNS

Funny thing about reporting.

You write something that’s agreeable to your sources (or readers for that matter) and you get a pat on the back.

You get an “atta boy.” You get a “good story, man.” You get a “way to go.”

You get a “hot damn – make the bad man go away!”

Whatever.

You write something that’s not agreeable and all of a sudden everyone forgets about that last story.

You get a “don’t you have anything better to write about.” You get a “you’re biased – why don’t

You write about the corruption going on in the (insert whatever department you want here).” You get a “and you call yourself a journalist – you suck.”

You get a “damn you’re bad, man – go away!”

Whatever.

So, I’ve got to do this blog. It’s a little snarky, I suppose. But I get bored easy, so if I offended you, then I apologize.

Kidding.

With that said – and in the spirit of having a good time – I’ll poke a little fun at something else for a change. I’m sure everyone but my bosses will like this one.

And I'm also sure someone out there will say “at least you got something right – your best post yet!”

Whatever.

Anyhoo, it’s an email I got awhile back. (You might have seen it before. I don't know where it originated. It's not mine. Well, the email is but I didn't write it.) I did have to tweak it a little bit. Been saving it for a slow day. (And by slow I mean when I’m not at work.)

Here ya go:

How to keep all the “political news” in perspective:

  1. The Wall Street Journal is read by the people who run the country.
  2. The Washington Post is read by people who think they run the country.
  3. The New York Times is read by people who think they should run the country and who are very good at crossword puzzles.
  4. USA Today is read by people who think they ought to run the country but don't really understand The New York Times. They do, however, like their statistics shown in pie charts.
  5. The Los Angeles Times is read by people who wouldn't mind running the country, if they could find the time - and if they didn't have to leave Southern California to do it.
  6. The Boston Globe is read by people whose parents used to run the country and did a poor job of it, thank you very much.
  7. The New York Post is read by people who don't care who is running the country as long as they do something really scandalous, preferably while intoxicated.
  8. The Miami Herald is read by people who are running another country, but need the baseball scores.
  9. The St. Louis Post-Dispatch is read by people who want only the score of the Cardinals game. They drink Budweiser, Budweiser, and - wait a minute - what was the question?
  10. The San Francisco Chronicle is read by people who aren't sure if there is a country or that anyone is running it; but if so, they oppose all that they stand for. There are occasional exceptions if the leaders are handicapped minority feminist atheist dwarfs who also happen to be illegal aliens from any other country or galaxy, provided of course, that they are not Republicans.
  11. The National Enquirer is read by people trapped in line at the grocery store.
  12. The Seattle Times is read by people who have recently caught a fish and need something to wrap it in.
  13. The Knoxville News Sentinel is read only by my loving mom.
There ya go.

Have a good weekend, folks.

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