What Roddy, Padgett really meant

Here's hoping Marilyn Roddy lets me write her speeches and Mark Padgett buys me beers.

Let's get started.

Apparently Knoxville mayoral candidate Mark Padgett wants to meet for a cup of coffee or lunch. I told his spin doctors I'd be happy to meet him for lunch so he pay for my brew. I never heard back.

Anyhoo, by now everyone should know that Marilyn Roddy pulled out of the mayoral race and is now running for Jamie Woodson's state Senate seat because she's leaving. Whatever.

But, Padgett – who would probably send out a press release commenting on Ground Hog Day if given the chance – just had to respond.

Then, as I was writing this nonsense, I got a statement from Roddy. So, let's look at what they said and then I'll translate this (in bold) for you.

We'll start with Padgett:

“Marilyn Roddy is a dedicated public servant, and I wish her nothing but the best.” Thank God she's gone! Now maybe I have a shot!

“I’m 100 percent dedicated to strengthening Knoxville’s economy and quality of life.” I'll help the area by paying by business license on time.

“The next Mayor of Knoxville is going to need the skills and ability to support existing local businesses, create jobs, recruit new companies, bolster emerging industries like solar, strengthen our neighborhoods, and continue the progress of downtown.” I'm going to use fancy words and tell you nothing!

“As the only small business owner on the ballot, I’m uniquely qualified to move Knoxville forward into a world-class city with a great quality of life and booming economy.” Next year I won't forget to pay my business license, but in the meantime I'm not so sure Knoxville is a world-class city with a great quality of life and booming economy because if it was, then I wouldn't say we have to “move forward into” it.

“I would be honored to become the next Mayor of Knoxville, and I look forward to running a campaign focused on the future of Knoxville and the issues that matter most to our community.” Give me that fat paycheck and I promise you that I will no longer have volunteers weave in and out of traffic as they ride their bicycles down Gay Street toting a sign with my name on it and nearly causing you to crash your car because they're such a freakin' distraction.

Now for Roddy:

“Knox County is losing a great leader (in Jamie Woodson) and advocate in the State Senate.” Awesome, now maybe I got a shot at winning something.

“As an educator and conservative I feel that I am well positioned to carry on Jamie Woodson’s legacy.” Hey, teachers: You're screwed!

“The State Senate offers the best platform to achieve the education reform necessary to attract 21st century jobs to Tennessee and Knox County.” Last week I was building bridges to the 19th Century. This week I'll build them for the 21st Century. And next week, we'll move to the 22nd Century.

“I believe that at this point in time I can best serve the citizens of Knox County in the legislature.” I read Mike Donila's blog and he advised me not to use this tired, tired, tired line – but since he's voting for himself and not me – I'm going to use it anyway!

Are you serious or not, Roddy?

(Disclaimer: I just know I’m going to get flamed for this post. But, the story was really bugging me. And, whatever. I’m moving out to the county and voting for myself in the city race as a write-in candidate anyway. Cause, you know, apparently no one really cares where you live and vote in Knox County. Certainly not our state leaders. Certainly not our election commission. But, wow, I digress. What follows is my latest nonsense. If you want, skip it and scroll down to my next post for some really cool salary suit information.)

And I thought Knoxville mayoral candidate Mark Padgett was stepping in it left and right.

You know, accepting some donations maybe he shouldn’t have. “Using” the Boys & Girls Clubs of the Tennessee Valley. Somehow forgetting to pay his business license. (By the way, you paid that yet?)

Whatever.

But I finally got around to reading Georgiana Vines’ story about Marilyn Roddy.

Apparently, she’s mulling a shot at the state Senate seat Jamie Woodson is giving up.

She’s going to pray about it, too. Divine Intervention, I guess.

OK.

Sure.

So, let me get this straight now. There’s a chance, that she’ll run for a new seat, after she’s campaigned for the mayoral one, and raised a bunch of money – a bunch of money - doing so. Now, she can't use that coin to run for a state race (the law won't allow it). But still, what do you say to your supporters?

Yeah.

Nice.

If it's true, well, I don't know. It all sounds kind of self-serving to me.

Still, what do I know? I hang out on the county’s side of the Deathstar. And no one over there is self-serving. Nope.

So, I probably have no idea what I’m talking about.

In the meantime, if she does bail on the mayor's race, I just ask her not to use this one line. Please. Do not say: “I can better serve the people of Knoxville and Knox County as a state senator.”

Because it’s tired. Almost as tired as wishy-washy politicians.

And that's not you, right? You do believe you can win the mayor's spot. Right?

So, uh, prove me wrong and stick with the that one. And keep it exciting.

Because Padgett hasn’t stepped in it lately.

UPDATE: Roddy to make formal announcement on this mess at 3 p.m. today.