Broyles goes to conventions. Yawn.

Photo by Dan Andrews

Well, credit to Knox County Commission Vice Chairman R. Larry Smith for tooling a couple of media outlets into reporting that Commissioner Amy Broyles – one of his political foes – goes on trips.

Yes, trips that he as a commissioner approved when he blindly – like most commissioners – approved the budget.

(Course R. Larry managed to chalk up some folding paper for a trip to Nashville when he probably could have just picked up a phone, but who’s counting?)

Now, before I really get into it, this entry isn’t to disparage R. Larry. It’s just a look at the inside baseball of politics and how it works sometimes. I don’t really have a dog in this fight. Personally, I never saw the story in the story. Hell, I told R. Larry that months ago.

In fact, we reported the real story. It wasn’t what Broyles attends, but rather what she doesn’t: meetings. Now THAT was the story.

Anyhoo, I digress.

Back to R. Larry.

Politically, it was an interesting move. On one end it was savvy that he convinced some reporters to   That’s usually smart politics.

Photo by Dan Andrews

Politically, it was an interesting move. On one end it was savvy that he convinced some reporters to (in my opinion) cover a non-issue, so he can use that as ammo when he talks about it during Tuesday’s work session. (R. Larry put this on the agenda to discuss. No, really.)

But, not this time. This time he pretty much insulted women everywhere.

According to the News Sentinel:  Broyles “the lone female commissioner, went with Knoxville’s first female mayor, Madeline Rogero, to hear her speak in Nashville at the Tennessee Economic Council on Women.”

The Sentinel quotes Smith: “How’s women’s issues going to better Knox County’s government decision making?”

(Wow! Freakin’ wow! He really said that? Holy $%*!)

Also, credit to KNS reporter Gerald Witt. In his lede sentence, he notes that Smith “is targeting” Broyles. WATE’s story made it out like there was some huge uproar of officials. No, folks. It was one official.

Smith’s move pretty much killed any chance he had at a school board seat. Most teaches are women. Yeah, they vote.

The good commissioner, according to Witt, also said commissioners “should enter office ready to do the job.

“If I decide that I want to run for County Commission,” he told the paper, “I know what it all entails. I know there are large budget items.”

Smith also is rumored to run for the Register of Deeds gig next year. I wonder if he – or anyone else who is thinking about challenging Sherry Witt (no relation to Gerald) – knows what it entails.

Does he know how to oversee $2 billion in real estate transaction each year? What about $4.5 billion in lending?

Again, not to disparage R. Larry. But rather to point out what is no doubt going to be political ammo when he decides to run for office next time.

It’s also probably a lesson to Broyles (not that she will care): Next time the commission chairmanship is up, don’t nominate someone other than R. Larry.

Heh.

Voter Registration Day, some facts

Knox County Elections stud Cliff Rodgers sent out a release earlier today, noting that Sept. 24 is National Voter Registration Day.

“On September 24, next Tuesday, we will have 35 polling locations open for the City of Knoxville Primary Election, and folks may go to any of these places to register to vote for future elections,” Rodgers said. “National Voter Registration Day is a great time to make sure that your registration is up to date or to register for the first time. We are ready to help you in any way we can at any time.”

To read the whole release, click right smack here.

OK, got that out of the way. There’s a lot of rumors going on about who is going to run for what and when, so now is probably a good time to clarify three things that you can take to the bank.

• Tim Burchett will be Knox County Mayor in 2015.
• Lamar Alexander will be a U.S. Senator in 2015.
• Big Bill will be Tennessee Governor in 2016.

You don’t have to like it. But those are facts. All three will win with a least 60 percent of the vote for their individual races, and probably more. There is no one in Knox County who can beat Burchett for mayor. There is no one in the state who can outspend Haslam. And Carr is just plain too ugly to beat Alexander.

Heh.

The elections will not be close.

County unveils new Website, Wi-Fi

Catching up from yesterday and still checking email. The county has redesigned its Website. Personally, I don't like it, but maybe it's just a case of getting used to. I liked the old design, despite what the local alternative paper felt about it. They don't like anything anyway. But at least they do their own work and don't make up crap and use second and third-hand sources to report something as fact. But I digress.

Here's the county release, brought to you by Michael "Big Sexy" Grider:

Knox County Mayor Tim Burchett unveiled a new Knox County website today, and announced the "Knox County Find It iPhone" app and expanded Wi-Fi services in the City County Building.(Check out the site, right smack here.)

“It used to be that we only accessed a website from our computers, but now more people than ever use mobile devices to get information from the Web,” said Mayor Burchett.  “We want to make it easier for constituents to access County information, and that means a website designed for mobile use, apps with interactive County data and access to public Wi-Fi.  Our IT Department, especially Matt Coleman and Jon Guymon, worked very hard to make Knox County’s website even better.”

The new website was designed by the Knox County Information Technology Department and has a completely updated look.  The new design has a responsive user interface that works on desktop computers and laptops, as well as mobile devices such as tablets and smartphones. 

Other highlights include:

• Interface design and navigation based on site traffic analytics
• Bold colors for a cleaner look and easier nagivation
• Mobile-friendly design that is responsive and automatically fits a user's device
• "Ask Rene" smart search feature allows users to ask or search for services.
• Links to social media, contact information and interactive maps
• Social media is integrated throughout, allowing users to share pages on various social media sites

On the new homepage there is also a link to the recently developed Knox County Find It app, which is available as a free download in the Apple App Store.  The app features an interactive map that displays County services closest to the user’s current location. Users can initiate GPS navigation to a selected destination directly from the app.  A Droid version of the app is not yet available, but may be released in the future.

In addition to rolling out a new website and app, Knox County’s IT Department recently expanded Wi-Fi services in the City County Building.  Members of the community, media, judges, attorneys and staff now have wireless internet access when in courtrooms or on the main and first floors of the City County Building.  This project was driven by the needs of the justice system, which allowed the installation to be grant-funded.  Public Wi-Fi access is also available in the Main and Small Assembly Rooms.

I hear it's a raining in Knoxville

So, I hear Knoxville, as of 5 p.m. yesterday, that Knoxville is just 2.16 inches shy (at 45.70) of the average precipitation for the ENTIRE YEAR (47.86). And we got six months left. Thanks to my buds over at WBIR for that one.

Anyhoo, yesterday I swam over to Washburn Island (it's on the Cape). I took a few pics. The one below is of south tip of the island and a hidden lagoon. I had the whole place to myself. More importantly, you see that yellow circle at the top? Yeah, heh, it's the sun.

It ain't raining here. Hahahahahahahaha. I'm going to boat over to Martha's Vineyard today. Catch me a Jaws.

On a side note, though, it appears county Communications Manager Michael Grider is haunting me, even from afar. In the other picture below, you'll note what no doubt is the graffiti that he scrawled on the restaurant's window. Heh.

Anyhoo, I'm out for now.

Headed out to give broadcast a shot

Most folks know by now, but if you don't . . . well . . . today's my last day at the Knoxville News Sentinel.

I'm headed over to Channel 10 (WBIR) where I'll be part of an investigative team that they're putting together.

There's no one reason, really, why I'm leaving. I've heard a couple of conspiracies and they're not true. Quite frankly, I've been doing this newspaper thing for at least 15 years, probably more, and I was looking for something different.

I've got no problem with the paper and I'm glad the KNS gave me the opportunities that it did. And there are a ton of great folks over there, no matter what the vocal minority of knuckleheads who comment on the paper's message board would have you believe. (I wonder how tough those losers would be if they actually had to sign their name to something. But I digress . . . ).

Again, I've been in papers for a good while, and I wanted the chance to try something new. It was not an easy decision.

On a side note, da Porch is coming with me. I own this sucker, so I'm not shutting it down. I'll also continue to keep an eye on Knox County government at least for here on the blog, although the station is giving me the chance to look into a lot more.

I start Monday.

In the meantime, I'm out.

Regards.

Mayor Burchett to go creek wading

Ah, I yearn for the days when county communications manager-of-two Michael “Big Sexy” Grider did NOT flood my email inbox with “friendly reminders' tied to whatever the heck Knox County Mayor Tim Burchett is doing.

Heh.

Now? Well now, Jennifer “da Kid” Lightning-something-or-other sends them.

Rambling a bit here.

Anyhoo, tomorrow the mayor will wade into Beaver Creek as part of a "fish assessment activity" during a “Families in the Creek” event.

No, really. That's what the email said, although it spins it as “an educational opportunity for families to explore a local creek and learn about water quality issues.”

I figure that, really, the mayor just got himself a waterproof metal detector and he wants to try it out.

The event, also hosted by the county's stormwater management and par and rec departments in conjunction with the Beaver Creek Task Force, is set for 10 a.m. at the Halls Grenway behind Food City, 7114 Maynardville Pike.

Knox County office closed on Monday

The Knox County Government office will be closed Monday, May 27, in observance of Memorial Day.

But, technically, the left east of the Deathstar shuts down around 2 p.m. the Friday before any holiday (and sometimes even earlier). Heh.

The Knox County Commission, which holds its monthly meeting on the fourth Monday of each month, will instead meet Tuesday.

I'm assuming the city offices, too, will be closed, but - come on - does anyone who follows local government really care what the city does?

Naw, didn't think so. They're no fun.

Anyhoo, have a good long weekend.

City Council gets it done quietly

Gerald Witt at meeting. (Photo by Dan Andrews)

So, for all the knuckleheads and chicken heads out there - most of whom like to complain about "Mayor Maddie" on our comment section - well, where were you the other day?

(They call her that cause they think they're cute. It's just like the people who call county Mayor Tim Burchett "Timmy." Real clever, let me tell ya.)

Huh? Oh yeah, you hide behind your fake, silly little monikers and fire shots, but you don't have the guts to show up at a Knoxville City Council meeting (or County Commission meeting) and complain.

You get what you deserve.

Here's KNS porter Gerald Witt's take, right smack here, on who bothered to show up at the City Council meeting to talk about the gazillion dollar budget. (Hint: no one.)

My favorite hippie weighs in, right smack here (although he's more forgiving than me).

As Gerald notes:

Guess what? Those are the things most likely to affect (raise) your property taxes in coming years. Put in simpler terms: the decisions that city council, and your mayor make today will affect how much your pay in taxes tomorrow. Seen yet another way – enjoy your flat taxes this year, they could be rising in years to come.

And yeah, I know there's going to be a few folks who think they're clever. They're going to say something unoriginal, something stupid, like: "Well, if the media is there, then we don't need to be."

Sure, whatever. Just don't complain.

Cause we all know you will.

Legislative dept to get official axe

As the County Commission preps for the upcoming fiscal year, there's a little house cleaning it needs to do, namely getting rid of the non-existent Office of Legislative Affairs in Knox County. (Did that even make sense?)

This was the one-person office that Patsy Miller ran for years. When county Mayor Tim Burchett took office, it was one of the first jobs he cut in the spring of 2011. (I believe Miller made about $50k a year.) Tim essentially told members of the local Legislative delegation (where he served for 16 years) to answer their owns phones. Since most of them already did, there wasn't a lot of heartburn.

No one ever bothered to appeal the private act that created the office. That will happen in the next few weeks. Not a big deal, really, but I figured like rambling.

City issues unnecessary spin release

The city sent out a press release the other day, noting that it would participate in the annal World Wildlife Fund Earth Hour tomorrow by shutting off all "non-essential lights" in the Death Star from 7-8 p.m.

Well, duh.

Wouldn't you normally shut off unnecessary lights on a Saturday night in a government building?

They'll hire anyone at the Death Star

What the deuce? Quit taking my picture

People have long joked that there's more than a few skunks working out of the Knox County Death Star. Well, heh . . . check it out. They weren't kidding.

KNS photographer Miles Cary took a couple shots of our own Pepe Le Pew. Miles said he spotted the skunk around 8 a.m. Wednesday on Hill Avenue between the garage door by the Sheriff's Office where deputies pull the bus in for prisoners and the west end of the building.

I'm outta here!

Miles noted that the skunk was last seen headed west on Hill Avenue and into the Death Star's parking garage.

After telling a top ranking county official about the skunk, he joked to me that the critter was just going to visit his parents.

Pick a car, any car, and steal a gun

Heh.

That ol' Second Amendment strikes again. Cause ya just never know when the British are a coming back.

State Republicans, in their no-doubt continuing effort to give every little piece of their soul to the NRA, approved the guns-in-parking-lots bill. Click right smack here for at bad boy.

You know. I actually had to ask a co-worker today if Tennessee had a waiting period before purchasing a handgun. No, really, I did. Cause if any state didn't have one . . . .

In the meantime, I guess I'm in the minority here, thinking that the guns-in-parking-lots thing is a bad idea. Don't get me wrong, I like to shoot things, break things, stab things and, generally, mess up things. I'm all for the death penalty, torture and public executions in front of minors, if only so they can learn a lesson.

Seriously, I have no problems with guns, gun ownership, etc.

But the reason there's a waiting period before you can purchase one is because it's actually a "cooling off" period. You know, don't get mad at someone, and get a gun and shoot them.

Soooooo, let's hope someone, who would really need that cooling off period, doesn't get mad at their boss. Cause that gun will now only be a parking lot away.

In the meantime, here's to bringing back that bill that would let folks bring their guns into bars.

I mean, it just sounds like a great idea. Second Amendment and all. Plus, alcohol and guns are awesome together.

UPDATE: One wise reader reminded me that the Intelligencia already approved guns in bars unless business owners object. So . . . . never mind.

Too bad they're not on your computer

Found this. Sadly, we can't replace them. Cause the truth is, they pretty much all suck.

Libraries closing early today, too

Students aren't the only ones taking off early today.

As the snow has begun to fall, county communications manager Michael "Big Sexy" Grider said all county library branches and senior centers are closing at 3 p.m. today.

On a side note, I was watching the knuckleheads on the news last night - the ones who ran to the grocery store to buy milk and bread. Really? Why do people buy milk and bread? WTH? If I'm going to be stuck in my house, I want something a little more tasty. Just saying.

Milk and break. Whatever.

Electronic-waste event on Saturday

The county, city, the West Knoxville Optimist Club and the Knoxville Volunteer Rescue Squad are partnering up this Saturday for the “plug-in your community” electronic-waste recycling event.

Yeah, that's what I said, too. Huh? Wha-?

Well, apparently you can take all your old computers, printers and other electronic junk and drop it all off Saturday – rain or shine – between 9 a.m. and 3 p.m. at Chilhowee Park in the Midway Parking lot on North Beaman Street.

The event is free and includes drive-thru service, so you don't have to hang out. Those who participate are eligible to win a wide-screen TV from Best Buy, which you'll eventually no doubt be lugging down to the next electronic-waste recycling event in a year or two.

Please note that you cannot drop off refrigerators, air condition units, smoke detectors, light bulbs, stoves and electronic equipment containing hazardous chemicals.

For more information, click right smack here.

Or you can just throw all the junk off your porch and into your neighbor's yard in the middle of the night. Not that I'd know anything about that.

Merry Christmas and happy holidays!

Well, it was only a matter of time. I got two lumps of coal for Christmas. Anyhoo, hope you're all having a good time, staying safe, staying out of the clink, staying  . . . blah, blah, blah. Have a good one.

Death Star petition gets signatures

Thanks no doubt goes to all the loyal Porch readers who helped secure the needed 25,000 signatures necessary to get a formal response from the White House in our effort to build another Death Star.

Yes, check it out, right smack here.

Now we just need an estimated $852 quadrillion. And some more Bothan sacrificing.

Another Death Star? Vote now!

Now, everyone who reads the ol' blog knows that we have a Death Star right off Main Street where our local politicians make much of the day-to-day heavy hitting decision.

But now there's a petition to build a new one.

Yup. According to the Washington Post, a “petition posted to the White House Web site – the administration created a forum that allows people to post petitions and promises a response to those that garner more than 25,000 digital signatures – is seeking the construction of a Death Star by 2016.”

The petition, in part, says by “focusing our defense resources into a space-superiority platform and weapon system such as a Death Star, the government can spur job creation in the fields of construction, engineering, space exploration, and more, and strengthen our national defense.”

You can find that bad boy right smack here. So far, it has just under 4,000 signatures, so get signing, so we can blow up some stuff.

Future of Norquist Pledge bleak?

Was reading the rogue's blog last night about the Norquist Pledge. He's upset that U.S. Sen Bob Corker is backpedaling on his promise. Yes, it always sucks when a politician reneges like that.

Anyhoo, the pledge – a Republican promise not to raise taxes – is going to be at the forefront of politically wonky conversations. Soooo, I figured I'd provide a few links and some info about it.

Right smack here, ABC has a great blog post about what it is and how it got started.

“The pledge began in 1986 under the aegis of president Ronald Reagan.

Grover Norquist, a Republican and former staffer at the U.S. Chamber of Commerce, had launched Americans for Tax Reform in 1985 to advocate for tax reforms Reagan was pushing in his second term. The group was financed largely by corporate sponsors such as Kraft, the Associated Press reported at the time.

In the midterm campaign year of 1986, Norquist rolled out the Taxpayer Protection Pledge as a way to pressure candidates to support Reagan's tax agenda, and as a cudgel for Republicans to wield against Democrats on the campaign trail.”

It was so successful that the GOP lost U.S. House and Senate seats that election cycle. Heh.

Hahahahaha.

Actually, that's more entertainment at the expense of others. I'll support an initiative that gets an iron clad signed-in-blood promise out of a politician. That way they can't blame the “liberal media” when they're caught lying. You know, like (former?) pot-head stoner, adulterer Rep. Scott Desjarlais.

But, I digress.

As I said earlier, Shock and Awe noted that Corker was ready to backpedal on his promise. I have a feeling there's gonna be a lot more.

Most politicians are, after all, natural born liars.

Happy turkey day from da Porch

Hello, hope you all have a nice Thanksgiving. I'm headed down to KARM today to cover the luncheon for the homeless. Kind of a tradition. Anyhoo, I'll be back at work tomorrow, covering the county.