Van Guilder to work for Trustee's Office

My boy Larry Van Guilder has taken a job with the Knox County Trustee's Office, continuing a recent trend of local reporters jumping paper ships to join the Deathstar.

Most recently, Angela Starke from some TV channel and Benedict Mayoral-Shark from the Metro Pulse joined Mayor Madeline Rogero's staff.

Anyhoo, Larry signed the papers today and starts work Jan. 16, according to his new boss John Duncan III. He fills a vacant staff accountant position. (He swears it was advertised.)

In a spin release, Duncan said: “We’ve carefully evaluated our needs over the past year. I believe Larry’s training and experience will prove a valuable addition to this office.”

He also said this is “another step forward in enhancing the services we provide” and blah, blah, blah.

Heh.

Now, don't get me wrong, Larry can actually do this job. It's just fun to make fun of spin releases.

Here's the rest:

Van Guilder is currently editor of the Shopper-News. In addition to the institutional knowledge acquired during his years of reporting on Knox County government, Van Guilder has extensive accounting experience in the private sector working with Fortune 100 companies as well as smaller organizations. He is a graduate of the University of Tennessee, a United States Air Force veteran and a Knoxville native. He and his wife, Becki, reside in the Farragut community.

Larry told me his first full-time job was with Union Camp Corporation in Morristown (it's since been bought out by International Paper). He started off as a bean counter and then somehow took a job in the sales department because it paid more. He transferred to Decatur, Ala. but left cause his boss sucked. He worked for a few local companies, got burned out and went back to UT to study history.

He thought about teaching but realized that teaching 17-year-old kids sucks, too.

Larry, however, always dabbled in writing and by late 2005 he was penning columns for the Shopper-News. He later wrote features and was covering Knox County government by the time Black Wednesday hit.

That's the abbreviated story of his life. So far.

He'll be 62 in March and hopes to retire in three years, and then – if there still is a Scripps newspaper company – freelance for us in some capacity.

“Government isn't going to go away, but newspapers? We just don't know,” he said when asked about the new job.

In addition, Larry will also oversee some public relations for the Trustee's Office.

On a personal note, I wish him well. I like the guy and I will miss his sharp wit and good-natured humor. Good luck, buddy.

Axl, Bill, Tony, definite ramblings

Did you miss me? Thought not. Took a five-day weekend; headed down to Florida to catch the first part of the Guns N’ Roses U.S. tour.

Thought about mentioning it before I left. Because I thought it would be funny if some clown wanted to swing by my pad when I wasn’t there. I’d let them deal with my vodka-fueled giant of a brother and his biker pals. Funny. But not really safe. For them. I decided to let it go. I’m rambling. I know.

Anyhoo, Axl Rose – even at almost 50 – can still bring it. The true porch screamer. From skinny metal head in the 1980s and early 1990s to a now-a-days outlaw. After the band released Chinese Democracy, the government over there banned him from the country. Cool thing to have on the resume.

I might put that one on my bucket list, so long as it isn’t America that bans me. Tennessee, however, would be more likely. I mean, just ask Gov. Big Bill. If he doesn’t like what you say, he’ll just have his goon squad throw you in jail.

Heh.

Speaking of the man who controls the state and has aspirations for the country (in say four to eight years), a reader sent me the form letter his office gives to anyone who complains about the curfew, arrests, whatever.

He got it on Oct. 28. Here:

Dear Friend:

Thank you for writing to Governor Haslam and sharing your concerns regarding the Occupy Nashville protests. Listening to and learning from Tennesseans is very important to us, and we appreciate hearing from you.

We all have a right to peaceably assemble, and those assemblies should be safe, sanitary, and non-destructive.

Criminal activity and deteriorating sanitary conditions over the past several days on Legislative Plaza created an environment that is unsafe for the protestors, state employees, and everyone who lives, works and enjoys downtown Nashville. Therefore, permits will be granted to protestors on a daily basis from 9:00am until 4:00pm.

While this administration wholeheartedly supports freedom of speech, assembly and petition, it is our responsibility to keep people safe on state property. Abiding by these hours allows for a safe event, while ensuring the people's right to peaceably assemble.

Again, thank you for writing. We look forward to working with you and all Tennesseans to make our great state an even better place to live, work and raise a family.

Kindest regards,
The Governor's Office of Constituent Services

OK, some more stuff to catch up on.

The St. Louis Cardinals won the World Series. Cool. I like Tony LaRussa. Glad the coach is going out on top.

I hope you had a good Halloween.

The Knoxville mayoral election is next week. If you don’t like any of the candidates, write in my name.

I’m not going to address the recent hate letter that disparaged a mayoral candidate and a bunch of supporters. OK, I will address it. Whoever wrote it is a dick.

Moving on here.

My boy Larry Van Guilder over at the Shopper News just had surgery. He’s feeling a lot better, and he should be back in force soon.

That’s also pretty cool.