Wednesday, March 7, 2012

Election write-in choices crack me up

So, special shout out goes to my lone reader who voted for me in the election. Heh.

Yup, got me a write-in vote for the criminal court judge, Division I job. Yeah, that’s right, unchallenged incumbent Steve Sword better watch out. I’m gaining. So, too is Aragorn King of Gondor. He got a vote, too.

Anyhoo, I pulled the list that the good folks down at the Knox County Election Commission keep of the names folks wrote in during last night’s elections.

Some funny stuff.

And you can click right smack here for all 35 pages of it. (Yeah, you’re welcome.)

In the meantime, here are some that immediately stood out to me. Note, that some repeat throughout each race (I assume the same person was filling them in), and that I’m spelling them exactly as they appear.

A sampling:

Presidential Candidates: I Pee Freely, Mickey Mouse, Roseanne Barr, Cobra Comander (one of my favorites even though it was spelled wrong – funny stuff); Al Green, Al Sharpton, Donald Trump, Eddie Murphy, Homer Simpson, Jerry Sandusky, Ron Regan, Snoopy, Someone Honest, Stephen Colbert (six votes); and Willie Nelson.

Criminal Court Judge, Division I: Any One, Anybody But, Anybody Buthim, Aragorn King of Gondor, Barack Obama, Ben Dover, Bill Clinton, Bob, Brian Moneyhun, Bruce Pearl, Chuck Norris, Dennis Francis, Emmit Smith, End Corruption in Knox Co, Greg Issacs, Mike Donila (now that’s what I’m freakin’ talking about!); Pam Strickland (that will drive some people crazy); Scott Moore (heh); Vermin Supreme; What The F—K (KNS Editor Tom Chester ironically would kill me if I actually spelled out the word on this family blog); and Yellow Dog.

Property Assessor: Any Honest Man, Anyone Else, Ben Dover (popular choice), Both Are Crooks, Donald Duck, Goofy, Jerry Sundusky, Lump Lambert, Mackay, Mick Mouse, Mickey Mouse, NA, Neither, No one, None, None of the Above, Noneoftheabove, Poop (hahahahahahaha); and Spongebob.

County Law Director: Any Honest Man, Bill Locket (whaaaat???); BobBowman (there ya go); Bubguarder (heh); H H Hill, Incumbents Leave, Open Air, Ted Nugent (I’d vote for him); and Vincent T Bugliosi.


Brian Paone said...

- I sincerely hope the "Matt Webb" written in for Circuit Court judge wasn't the guy I worked with at 21st. We might as well just get Baumgartner back.

- I noticed Mike Shipwash got a nomination for Law Director. That's not a bad idea. Except for the fact that Shipwash is far too sane to take the job.

- Cthulhu got a nod for Property Assessor - finally, a candidate that makes John Whitehead look good by comparison.

- Local lawyer/activist/arguable nutjob Chris Irwin got a writein for BoE in the 3rd District. There's a scary thought. The only thing I know of that's just as bad as an ultra-conservative approach to schools, and that's an ultra-liberal one - especially when painted in clown makeup.

- At least Elaine Davis outpolled SOMEONE in the BoE's 5th. Not happy about missing the Law Director projection (watch your ass, "Bud" - leave the politics at the door this time or they WILL come back to haunt you), but it does feel kind of nice to say that Elaine Davis has now completed the Trifecta of Suck - bombed first as a Democrat, then as a Republican, and now as an independent (technically, since that race is officially non-partisan).

Couldn't happen to a more deserving person not named Victoria DeFreese.

And finally:

- Whoever wrote in Ted Nugent for Law Director gets a free beer.

Mike Donila said...

This is your best comment yet:

"Trifecta of Suck"

I have to remember that one.